Tag Archives: Vayeshev

Hashem’s Mathematical Justice

In this week’s parasha, Vayeshev, we read about the unfortunate sale of Joseph. Two big questions come up: First, why did Jacob deserve the cruel experience of not only losing his beloved son, but then also being tricked by his other sons? Second, why did Joseph deserve to be sold into slavery and spend a dozen years in prison? We know that God always acts justly, middah k’neged middah, “measure for measure”, so why did these two righteous figures deserve such tribulations?

The Zohar (I, 185b) on this week’s parasha points out some incredible parallels between what Jacob’s sons did to him, and what Jacob did to his father Isaac. Jacob had slaughtered some goats, was dressed up in “goat skins”, and presented his father with delicious goat meat in order to trick his father into a blessing. Jacob’s sons did the same in slaughtering a goat and dipping Joseph’s tunic in its blood to trick their father. Isaac had asked Jacob “Are you my son Esau, or not?” (ha’atah ze bni Esav im lo?) and Jacob’s sons similarly told him “Do you recognize this tunic to be your son’s, or not?” (haker na haktonet binkha im lo?) The result was that Isaac experienced a “great terror” (charadah gedolah), just as Jacob did. Thus, the Zohar says, what Jacob’s sons put him through is precisely what he had put his own father through! And this all came from God, who is medakdek when it comes to tzadikim: He is perfectly, mathematically, precise in His justice, measure for measure.

We can take this teaching in the Zohar one step further. We find that after Jacob tricked Esau, the latter was so angry he resolved to kill Jacob, which prompted Rebecca to send Jacob to her uncle in Haran. Although there are different opinions as to how long it took him to get to Haran, the pshat of the Torah is that he went to Haran immediately and spent twenty years with Lavan (Genesis 31:38). After he came back to the Holy Land, he reunited with his father Isaac whom he hadn’t seen for at least twenty years (Genesis 35:27). In the case of Joseph, the Torah tells us he was seventeen when he was sold (Genesis 37:2), and thirty when he became viceroy of Egypt (Genesis 41:46). There was then a seven-year period of plenty—until Joseph turned 37 years old—followed by the start of the famine, during which time Jacob was reunited with Joseph. Doing the math, we find that Jacob and Joseph were also separated for just over twenty years. Again, God’s retribution is exact!

Let’s turn to Joseph: why did he have to be sold into servitude and spend twelve years in an Egyptian prison? We read that he was an excellent servant in the house of Potiphar, and was put in charge of all of Potiphar’s affairs (Genesis 39:3). He lived very well there, until Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him incessantly. When he kept refusing, she put in a false report of sexual assault, leading to Joseph’s arrest and imprisonment. This is not a coincidence either, for the parasha begins by telling us that Joseph would bring “bad reports” about his brothers to his father (Genesis 37:2). Just as Joseph made false reports about his siblings, Potiphar’s wife made a false report about Joseph! The result was twelve years in prison, and it is easy to suggest why specifically twelve since, after all, Joseph had a total of twelve siblings (including Dinah). The Midrash (Beresheet Rabbah 84:7) further emphasizes God’s exacting punishment:

“Joseph brought evil report of them to their father” – what did he say? Rabbi Meir, Rabbi Yehuda, and Rabbi Shimon [taught]: Rabbi Meir says [that Joseph would report]: “Your sons are suspected of eating the limb of a living animal.” Rabbi Shimon says: “They are directing their gaze at the girls of the land.” Rabbi Yehuda says: “They are demeaning the sons of the maidservants [Bilhah and Zilpah] and calling them slaves.”

Rabbi Yehuda bar Simon said: He was punished for all three of them, for “Balances and scales of justice are Hashem’s…” (Proverbs 16:11) The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: “You said: ‘Your sons are suspected of eating the limb of a living animal.’ As you live, even at their time of corruption, they will slaughter and only then will they eat [as it is written:] ‘and slaughtered a goat.’ (Genesis 37:31) You said: ‘They are demeaning the sons of the maidservants and calling them slaves.’ [And so,] ‘Joseph was sold as a slave.’ (Psalms 105:17) You said: ‘They are directing their gaze at the girls of the land.’ As you live, I will incite the same against you [as it is written,] ‘His master’s wife cast her eyes [upon Joseph, and she said: Lie with me.]’” (Genesis 39:7)

‘Joseph Makes Himself Known to His Brethren’ by Gustav Doré

One thing that we learn from this is that the brothers of Joseph were not all that wrong in being suspicious of him, and perhaps even wanting to rid of him. He did have a dangerously large ego, and we go on to read in the Torah how Joseph consolidated more and more power in Egypt, eventually enslaving the entire Egyptian populace (Genesis 47). It isn’t surprising that the angry and subdued Egyptians later turned the tables and enslaved the Israelites! Because of this need to dominate, the Zohar (I, 200a) says Joseph was not given his own flag among the Tribes. The Zohar points out there was no degel machane Yosef, but only a degel machane Ephraim. The flag of Joseph was replaced with the flag of his son, serving as something of a “demotion” due to Joseph’s desire for superiority. The Talmud (Berakhot 55a), meanwhile, points out that Joseph was first to die among his brothers for similar reasons of ego.

Now, all of this is not to take away from Joseph’s righteousness. After all, he is called Yosef haTzadik, the epitome of righteousness, and embodied sexual purity, restraint, and great wisdom. Nonetheless, no one is perfect, and the Torah highlights the flaws of its heroes so that we can learn from them. The Torah was given to guide us in refining ourselves and becoming better people; to teach us that God is merciful and longsuffering, giving us many opportunities to repent and rectify, even across multiple lives and eras.

In fact, Joseph was reincarnated in his descendant Joshua, the humble servant of Moses (see Sefer Gilgulei Neshamot, Letter Mem). Both Joseph and Joshua are described in the Torah as being filled with a Godly spirit, and both died at the exact same age of 110 (see Genesis 50:26 and Joshua 24:29). Joseph was the reason the brothers came down to Egypt in the first place and ended up staying there “in exile” for centuries, so fittingly it was Joshua that brought the Children of Israel back into the Holy Land. Humble Joshua—who spent the first part of his life enslaved to the Egyptians—was the rectification for haughty Joseph. And the final incarnation of that soul is in Mashiach ben Yosef (Sefer Gilgulei Neshamot, Letter Pei), to once more bring all the Children of Israel back to the Holy Land at the End of Days, and usher in a better world for all mankind.

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Chanukah!


Chanukah Learning Resources:

Chanukah’s Electrifying Secret (Video)
Chanukah & the Light of Creation (Video)
Did the Jews Really Defeat the Greeks?
When Jews and Greeks Were Brothers
Death of Hellenism, Then and Now
Rabbi Akiva and the Maccabees
Where in the Torah is Chanukah?

Tamar’s Spiritual Journey

In the midst of relaying the saga of Joseph, this week’s parasha takes a detour to explore what was happening with Yehudah at the same time. As is well-known, Yehudah married a Canaanite woman referred to as Bat Shua and had three sons. His eldest, Er, then married a woman named Tamar. After Er passed away young and childless due to his sins, Tamar had to marry his brother Onan to fulfil the law of yibum, or “levirate marriage”. The sinful second son also died shortly after, so Tamar had to marry the third, Shelah. However, Yehudah innocently believed that his two older sons may have died because of something wrong with Tamar, and wanted to avoid another levirate marriage to spare his remaining child.

Rembrandt’s ‘Judah and Tamar’

Tamar decided to take matters into her own hands. She dressed up as a harlot and managed to seduce Yehudah himself. Tamar got pregnant from that union and gave birth to the twins Peretz and Zerach. From Peretz would eventually descend King David and, in turn, Mashiach. What Tamar had done out of desperation might be understandable on some level, but it does not change the fact that she did something completely immoral. In fact, Yehudah himself initially condemned her to death, before learning that he had been tricked by his own daughter-in-law. God always makes sure to mete out punishment measure-for-measure, and souls need a perfectly balanced rectification, or tikkun. Where did Tamar’s soul find her rectification?

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Wasting Seed: Minor Taboo or Grave Sin?

In this week’s parasha, Vayeshev, we read about the incident of Yehuda and Tamar. Yehuda’s eldest son, Er, marries a beautiful woman named Tamar. Unfortunately, Er “was evil in the eyes of God, and God put him to death.” (Genesis 38:7) As was customary in those days, since Er died without a son, it was expected that his brother, Onan, would perform levirate marriage and take Tamar as his wife. As the Torah describes, the purpose of this is to essentially provide a sort of heir for his childless brother. Onan was happy to marry Tamar, but

knew that the progeny would not be his, and it came about, when he came to his brother’s wife, he wasted [his semen] on the ground, in order not to give seed to his brother. And what he did was evil in the eyes of God, and He put him to death also. (Genesis 38:9-10)

As we know, Yehuda would end up being with Tamar himself, and out of that union would come Peretz, the ancestor of King David.

‘Judah and Tamar’

The big question is: what was it that Er and Onan did that was so despicable to God? The classic answer is that they wasted their seed (as the Torah states above), which is why they were punished so severely. This narrative is then used as proof from the Torah that wasting seed is among the gravest of prohibitions.

And yet, the Torah itself does not actually prohibit wasting seed anywhere, at least not explicitly. Considering how strictly the Sages spoke about not wasting seed, we might be surprised to find that it is not one of the 613 commandments. So, what is the true extent of this prohibition? Where did it come from? And what was really going on with Er and Onan?

A Closer Look at Er and Onan

While the Torah tells us that Er was evil in God’s eyes, it does not explain why. Many commentators (including Rashi and Rabbeinu Bechaye) assume that he must have been evil for the same reason his brother Onan was: for wasting seed. Rabbeinu Bechaye (1255-1340) clarifies that the sin was not the act of wasting seed itself, but rather for an ulterior motive. Er did not want to impregnate Tamar so that her beauty would not be ruined. He wanted her solely for physical pleasure. This is what was despicable to God.

Similarly, a careful look at the Torah makes it clear that Onan’s sin was not wasting seed either. What the Torah says is that Onan did not want to fulfil the mitzvah of levirate marriage. He avoided impregnating Tamar because he “knew the progeny would not be his”, and the reason he spilled his seed on the ground was “in order not to give seed to his brother”. The sin here was not the act of wasting seed, but rather disrespecting his own brother, and refusing to fulfil the mitzvah of levirate marriage.

Such is the opinion of Tzror haMor (Rabbi Abraham Saba, 1440-1508), and we see similar comments by Sforno (Rabbi Ovadiah ben Yakov, 1475-1550). Chizkuni (Rabbi Hezekiah ben Manoach, c. 1250-1310) goes even further, saying that Onan was really out to increase his share of land, for if he would have fulfilled the mitzvah, the child would receive Er’s portion of land, and if not, then Onan would be the inheritor. From these commentaries, and the Torah’s own simple reading, we can definitively conclude that the sin was not the wasting of seed itself but the evil ulterior motives behind it, especially greed and disrespect for a brother.

All of this is right in line with the Torah’s persistent theme of brothers failing to love each other, starting with Cain and Abel and continuing through Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, and Yehuda’s sons. The Torah takes every possible opportunity to remind us to love each other wholeheartedly (as we are all brothers), and that tragedies always befall the Jewish people when we lack brotherly love—as our Sages explicitly state countless times.

Going back to the subject at hand, nowhere else in the Torah is wasting seed an issue. The Torah does state that a man who has an “emission” is impure for purposes of going to the Temple. What he must do is immerse in water, and wait until the evening for the impurity to go away (Leviticus 15:16). No other punishment is prescribed, irrespective of why the man might have the emission.

Spilling Seed, or Spilling Blood?

It is in the Talmud where wasting seed takes on its grave overtones. The Sages compare one who wastes seed to a murderer, an idolater, and an adulterer (Niddah 13a-b). This is quite shocking, considering that murder, idolatry, and adultery are the three “cardinal sins” of Judaism. These are the things one must give up their life for in order to avoid, even if coerced. The Sages are equating wasting seed with the worst possible sins.

In the same pages, we read how Rav Yochanan holds that one who wastes seed “deserves death”. Interestingly, he bases himself on the verses in the Torah concerning the deaths of Er and Onan! Yet, as we’ve seen, their sin was not the act of wasting seed, but their evil ulterior motives. In reality, the Sages are hard-pressed to find a good source for the prohibition. They resort to various colourful interpretations of Scriptural verses in an attempt to illustrate the evils of wasting seed. For example, Isaiah 1:15 says “And when you spread forth your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; when you make many prayers, I will not hear, [because] your hands are full of blood.” Rabbi Elazar says that “hands are full of blood” is referring to those who masturbate, since spilling seed is like spilling blood! This is far from the plain meaning of the verse, which is obviously talking about actual bloodshed.

We should keep in mind that in these Talmudic pages, the Sages are not just prohibiting masturbation or wasting seed, but even for a man to simply touch their “member”—even to urinate! “Rabbi Eliezer said: Whoever holds his member when he urinates is as though he had brought a flood on the world.” Rabbi Tarfon later adds that his hand should be cut off! It goes without saying that the Sages were exceedingly careful to avoid any sexual transgressions, and raised many “fences” to ensure that no one should even come close to sinning so gravely. We must remember that the Talmud often uses hyperbole to get a point across and it isn’t always wise to take statements literally. The Sages themselves question Rabbi Eliezer, and say that not holding one’s member would be very impractical, for “would not the spray splatter on his feet…?”

The point, rather, is to teach us that “such is the art of the evil inclination: Today it incites man to do one wrong thing, and tomorrow it incites him to worship idols and he proceeds to worship them.” (Niddah 13b) The Sages are specifically referring to one who fantasizes to “give himself an erection”, and that such a person “should be expelled”. After all, the yetzer hara works in such a way that it gets a person to make a tiny sin, and slowly leads them to greater transgressions. It might start with a small thought, grow into a consuming fantasy, and eventually leads one to grossly misbehave. In short, the fear is that a person will get accustomed to bad habits, and it will end up leading to more severe transgressions.

Halacha & Kabbalah of Spilling Seed

The Rambam (Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, 1135-1204) codifies as law the prohibition of wasting seed, whether with one’s partner or on their own (Mishneh Torah, Issurei Biah 21:18):

It is forbidden to release semen wastefully. Therefore a person should not enter his wife and release outside of her… Those who release semen with their hands, beyond the fact that they commit a great transgression, a person who does this will abide under a ban of ostracism. Concerning them, it is said: “Your hands are filled with blood.” It is as if they killed a person.

The Rambam makes a distinction between a situation of husband and wife versus a man doing it on his own, which is far worse and likened to “murder”. Having said that, many other great authorities in Jewish law were more lenient when it comes to wasting seed, especially when the intention is not evil. The Rambam’s contemporary, Rabbi Yehuda haHasid (1150-1217), wrote in his Sefer Hasidim that while masturbation is forbidden, and requires a great deal of penance to repair, it is occasionally permitted if it will prevent a person from a more serious sin. On that note, the Rambam himself wrote elsewhere (Commentary on the Mishnah, Sanhedrin 7:4) that wasting seed is not an explicit Torah prohibition, and carries no actual punishment of any kind. However, he writes in the same place that although many things are permitted when done consensually between husband and wife, it is nonetheless important to be exceedingly modest when it comes to sexuality.

The later Kabbalists understood that the Torah carries no explicit punishment for wasting seed, but found an allusion to a more mystical punishment. They taught that wasting seed produces banim shovavim, literally “wayward children” (a term that comes from Jeremiah 3:14 and 3:22). These impure spirits—potential souls that are brought into this world without a body—attach to a man’s neck and cause him great damage, and can harm his children, too. There is no doubt that the Rambam, being a strict rationalist and staying away from anything “Kabbalistic”, would disagree with this approach. The Rambam did not believe in demons or evil spirits, and refused to accept the validity of many Kabbalistic ideas and practices.

The Arizal (Rabbi Isaac Luria, 1534-1572), perhaps the greatest of Kabbalists, was a major proponent of the banim shovavim notion. Since his time, it has become customary in some communities to focus on purifying from sexual sins and from wasted seed during the weeks when we read the consecutive parashas of Shemot, Va’era, Bo, Beshalach, Yitro, and Mishpatim. Since the initials of these parashas spell “shovavim”, it is thought to be an auspicious time for such repentance. Yet even the Arizal taught that wasting seed is primarily a problem when a person does so on their own, for selfish, lustful reasons. If one is married, and there is genuine loving intimacy between husband and wife, the prohibition is no longer so clear cut. (See, for example, Sha’ar HaMitzvot on Noach).

Indeed, many authorities permitted wasting seed in the context of a husband and wife being together—as long as they are not like Er or Onan, and have pure intentions coming out of true love and passion. Among those that held this opinion include the tosafist Rabbi Isaac ben Shmuel (c. 1115-1184, in his comments to Yevamot 34b) and the Maharsha (Rabbi Shmuel Eidels, 1555-1631, in his comments on Nedarim 20a). The tosafist Rabbi Isaiah di Trani (c. 1180-1250) stated it most emphatically: “one whose intention is to satisfy his desires [for his wife] does not transgress, for anything that a man wants to do with his wife he can do, and it is not considered wasting seed”! (מי שכונתו להשלים תאות יצרו אינו עובר, שכל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו עושה ולא יקרא משחית זרעו, see Tosfot Rid on Yevamot 12b.)

In fact, even the Arizal taught that, in certain special cases, wasted seed can serve a positive purpose. In Sha’ar HaGilgulim (ch. 26), we read how the ten drops of wasted seed that unintentionally emerged out of Joseph (as per the famous Midrash) resulted in levushim, protective “garments” for the soul. The seed wasted indirectly by tzaddikim may similarly produce such protective garments, especially when it happens during proper, loving, holy zivug (union) between husband and wife. Such union, while not fruitful in this world, corresponds to “heavenly unions” that are spiritually fruitful. It is important to repeat that this entails being an actual tzaddik—being righteous, just, observant, modest, humble, selfless—and being intimate in a holy, loving, kosher, monogamous union.

On that note, it is worth mentioning that a couple that is childless, or already pregnant, is absolutely allowed to continue to be intimate, and this is not at all considered “wasting seed”. (The Talmud adds that intimacy during the third trimester is particularly healthy for both mother and baby, see Niddah 31a.) At the very start of Sha’ar HaMitzvot, the Arizal explains that such unions might not produce physical children, but they produce many spiritual children. This is one meaning for the verse in the Torah that says Abraham and Sarah “made souls” in Charan (Genesis 12:5)—although they were physically childless, they had produced many souls in Heaven, and these souls later came down into human form. In fact, there are those who say these souls are given to converts, who receive a Jewish soul upon their successful conversion. The souls that Abraham and Sarah made all those years come down into the bodies of converts, which is the deeper reason why all converts are referred to as “ben Avraham” and “bat Sarah”.

To summarize and conclude, the issue of spilled seed could indeed be a serious one. There is room to be lenient in certain situations, such as the case of a young, unmarried gentleman, whose frustration might reach a point where he might be led to worse sins. The Sages recognized how incredibly difficult the latter case can be, and stated that a young bachelor who lives in the city and can still hold himself back from sexual sins is so praiseworthy that God personally calls out his name in Heaven every day (Pesachim 113a). In the case of a married couple with loving intentions, many authorities state there is no issue of “wasting seed” at all, and any form of intimacy is permitted. That helps to explain why Rabbi Chiya said it is best to stay married no matter what, and to always treat one’s wife exceedingly well—even if she is the worst kind of wife—because wives “save us from sin” (Yevamot 63a). It is fitting to end with another famous adage from the Talmud (Sukkah 52b): אבר קטן יש לו לאדם מרעיבו שבע משביעו רעב “There is a small organ in a man’s body—if he starves it, he is satisfied; if he satisfies it, he starves.”